Keep Love's Banner Flying High

 There's a phrase in the hymn "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" that caught my attention today:

"Keep love's banner floating o'er you"

Then, with a little Google searching, I found this tidbit about army banners:

"Up to World War One it was common for armies to carry flags into battle, simply to give the troops something to rally behind or to defend. ... The flag would be their ‘focal point’ during the battle, it would be at the forefront of the advance, or steadfast in a defense."

What wonderful imagery! I love the idea of having love be our banner, even (and especially) in the face of opposition.

For example, what should you do when your kids are having meltdowns, throwing tantrums, and being generally defiant and unruly? Keep love's banner flying high! Choose love by responding with warmth and gentleness instead of lashing out with your own explosion of emotions.

Or how about when you have a conflict with your spouse (or anyone else for that matter)? Keep love's banner flying high! Choose love by humbly trying to see things from their point of view instead of stubbornly standing your ground.

And what about when you make mistakes and are tempted to spiral downward into the rabbit hole of self-hatred? Keep love's banner flying high! Choose love by viewing yourself with compassion and mercy instead of berating yourself for being imperfect.

I hope we can all work to "keep love's banner floating o'er us"—rally behind it, defend it, and keep it as our focal point no matter what comes our way!

Actually Doing Okay

Today I had one of the worst days with the kids that I've had in a long time. They woke up way too early and were a handful all day because of it. And there were several moments when I reacted poorly to them, losing my patience and yelling, which of course got me even more down.

But the most surprising thing to me is that, at the end of the day, I'm actually okay. Normally I feel like I would still be stewing over how horrible the kids are, how horrible I am, and how hard it is to be a mom. And I'd probably just be trying to escape those feelings.

But it's different today. It's like I can see things more clearly. I see that the kids didn't get enough sleep, and so they were (naturally) more cranky because they didn't feel as well. I see that because I didn't get as much sleep, and because I'm constantly dealing with pain, I was in a bad mood too. It doesn't excuse our behavior, but at least it adds a level of compassion, and that changes something.

I did some bad things today, like when I snapped and yelled at Katya so loudly that she was sobbing and my voice was hoarse. Or when I got so mad at Sophia for not eating her dinner that she ran away and hid in the corner of the room for several minutes. And I regret those moments so much.

But I also did a lot of good things today too. I sincerely apologized to Katya after yelling at her. When Sophia was distraught about something and wanted me during the time Vlad was watching them, I didn't ignore her–I opened my door, knelt down, and hugged her tight until she calmed down (which she quickly did). I read to the kids, not just before bed but also before dinner when I was so exhausted that I just wanted to rest. And I took them sledding, despite my hip/leg pain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I admit to being an imperfect person, and I also admit to being a person striving to do my best and live well. I'm a whole person, and I was able to see and acknowledge that today, surely thanks to the Holy Ghost and His influence on me. Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can receive forgiveness for the things I so regret from today, and I can continue to try to "clear away the bad according as the good shall grow," as Jacob in the Book of Mormon would put it (Jacob 5:66). And I'm so grateful for that.

4 Simple Spiritual Pick-Me-Ups

Looking for some quick and simple ways to invite the Holy Ghost into your life and boost your spirituality? These 4 things ought to do the trick!

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⭐ SPIRITUAL PICK-ME-UP #1 ⭐

Read a single article from a Church magazine

Time: 5-10 minutes ⏲

* HOW IT WORKS *

1️⃣ Subscribe to the "Liahona" (or "For The Strength of Youth" if you're a youth).

2️⃣ When it comes in the mail, place it next to your bed.

3️⃣ Right before bed, or first thing in the morning, read an article (or page) from it.

* WHY IT WORKS *

 Having the physical magazine next to your bed will serve as a clear reminder to read, whereas you're less likely to do so if you just read on your phone or tablet.

 Reading a magazine can help you fall asleep, whereas screens interfere with sleep.

 A single article (or page) is a specific, manageable goal.

 Reading the stories in the Liahona provides a different spiritual feel than reading the scriptures or general conference, and they're generally pretty easy to read and understand.

* PONDER OR COMMENT *

 How do you find Church magazines to be different than the scriptures and general conference? How have Church magazines helped you throughout your life?

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⭐ SPIRITUAL PICK-ME-UP #2 ⭐

Memorize a random verse

Time: 5-15 minutes ⏲

* HOW IT WORKS *

1️⃣ Go to RandomScriptureVerse.com.

2️⃣ Select your choice of scriptural work and click "Show random verse!" until you get to one that you like. Then click "Memorize This Verse" and select Easy (8 steps) or Hard (4 steps).

3️⃣ Fill in the blanks until you can memorize the whole verse!

* WHY IT WORKS *

 A random scripture generator removes the question of "What should I memorize?" and lets you just browse until you find something you like.

 Focusing on the verse word by word makes you stop and really think about the words, allowing you to learn and ponder things you would have otherwise missed.

 The progressive "fill in the blank" format is fun and easy to do, either on a computer or mobile device.

 Memorizing verses helps them stick in your mind, which allows the Spirit to pull them out later when most needed.

* PONDER OR COMMENT *

 How has memorizing scriptures helped you and/or others? What's one scripture you have memorized, and why is it particularly powerful to you?

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⭐ SPIRITUAL PICK-ME-UP #3 ⭐

Answer a spiritual question

Time: 5-15 minutes ⏲

* HOW IT WORKS *

1️⃣ Go to ScriptureStudyQuestions.com/random.

2️⃣ Click "Show Random Question" until you find a question you like, and read the accompanying verse.

3️⃣ Answer the question as briefly or deeply as you'd like! You can use a physical notebook, a word processing program on your computer (like Microsoft Word), or a note-taking app on your phone (like Evernote).

* WHY IT WORKS *

 You don't have to spend time thinking of a topic to write about. You just browse until you find a question you like.

 The answers you record can help you (both in the present and future), others (like if you share with your family or on social media), and eventually your posterity.

 Writing about spiritual things makes us really stop and think about them. It opens the door wide for the Holy Ghost to give us revelation, comfort, and spiritual strength.

* PONDER OR COMMENT *

 How do you think pondering and recording spiritual things can help you in your day-to-day life? How do you think it can help you and others in the future?

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⭐ SPIRITUAL PICK-ME-UP #4 ⭐

Jot down personal revelation

Time: 5-10 minutes ⏲

* HOW IT WORKS *

1️⃣ Obtain a notebook that you can easily access throughout the day, which will act as your revelation journal. For example, it could be a small physical notebook that you keep in a pocket, or an app on your phone with the ability to take and organize notes (like Evernote).

2️⃣ Throughout the day, pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that God gives you through the Holy Ghost. For example, it can be moments of comfort, ideas of things you should start or stop doing, or insights about gospel principles.

3️⃣ As soon as you have a few spare minutes, record your experience in your revelation journal.

* WHY IT WORKS *

 Having a specific place to write down revelation makes it easier to record those moments when they come.

 Treasuring God's communication with us shows God that He can trust us, which will lead to more revelation.

 Personal revelation can help us with every aspect of our lives, including our families, careers, education, social interactions, and personal goals.

 As Elder Richard G. Scott counseled, “Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come. Also, the knowledge you gain will be available throughout your life.”

* PONDER OR COMMENT *

 How have you been blessed by recording personal revelation, or how do you think you could be blessed by doing so? What format of revelation journal do you think would work best for you, and why?

We Are All Connected

We are all connected.

It's the reason a tiny virus was able to traverse the entire globe within a few months. It's the reason programs like Zoom have soared in popularity since March 2020—so we can keep that connection, at least virtually.

I've been thinking a lot about influence lately, specifically my own desire to have an impact on the world. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ponder their place in the world—to long to make some lasting difference in the lives of others.

Yet when I read the biographies of influential people—whether they be politicians or prophets, authors or artists—I end up thinking, "Will I ever amount to anything like that? Will I actually leave a mark on the world?"

Thankfully, as I've continued to read about such incredible people, I've realized a simple yet profound truth: that behind every single influential person there stands an army of influencers. Parents who, at the very least, brought them into the world and, more likely, sacrificed greatly in order to nurture and provide for them. Teachers who imparted knowledge and wisdom. Siblings, friends, neighbors, colleagues, mentors, and on and on, each leaving their indelible imprint. And they too were backed by their own armies of influencers.

Because of this, I no longer believe that greatness is defined by how many people know of you, how high you climb the ladder of fame, or how many books will eventually be written about you. I believe greatness is defined by following God's plan for you and doing your best in your own sphere of influence—no matter how big or small that sphere is.

For who is more important, influential, and honorable?—the doctor performing surgery with an array of intricate medical supplies, or the truck driver who delivered those medical supplies to the hospital? The nurse who is caring for dozens of covid patients, or the janitor who is constantly disinfecting room after room?

There are very few people who influence the whole world. But all of us influence some part of the world, so TOGETHER we can influence all of it. Just as the coronavirus is invisible to the naked eye, our influence goes mostly unseen, but I truly believe that, over time, it too can traverse the entire globe.

Atomic Bombs, Refugees, and the Coronavirus

The coronavirus has infected the bodies of over a quarter of a million people, but it has infected the minds of so many more, including my own. For the last few weeks, covid-19 has dominated my thoughts and my actions. At first, I'd check social media to see what funny coronavirus and TP memes were being posted. Then, I'd browse news sites to see the latest in how this pandemic is changing the world. But now, as the novelty of this novel virus has started to wear off, my curiosity has been transformed into concern ... then worry ... then fear. There are so many unanswered questions—so much instability and unpredictability.

With that at the forefront of my mind, two things have brought me hope and direction in the last few days.

The first is a quote from C.S. Lewis about the atomic bomb. The full quote can be found in this article, but here's the most relevant part, with "atomic bomb" replaced by "the coronavirus":

The first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by [the coronavirus], let that [virus] when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about [the coronavirus]. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.

I know that it's good to be informed about the coronavirus. But "being informed" doesn't mean thinking about it (and its economic impacts) all day long, opening Facebook a hundred times a day, and reading news articles every spare moment. I want to fill my life back up with "sensible and human things," like spending quality time with my family, enjoying nature and hobbies, learning, teaching, serving, and loving.

The second thought I had is from a book I'm reading right now, The Ungrateful Refugee by Dina Nayeri. I in no way seek to trivialize the hardships of refugees by comparing my struggles to theirs, but at the same time, I've found hope from their examples.

As I've read the plights of these asylum-seekers, the idea of "limbo" has caught my attention because that's exactly what so many of us are feeling right now—in a state of limbo. The dictionary describes it perfectly as "an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition." Here's what the author of The Ungrateful Refugee had to say about this:

People think of the refugee camp as a purgatory, a liminal space without shape or color. And it is that. But we kept our instinct for joy. We made friends and we studied and made a community, as we had every day in Iran. Journalists and aid workers who visit camps often comment on this aspect of the psyche—how can these people carry on with their gossip and petty dramas and daily pleasures? How can they endure the limbo?

Much later in life, years after finding a new home in the United States, the author visited a refugee camp in Greece. In this camp, where there was "nothing to see but dogs and children and naked gloom" outside, she was surprised upon entering the house of a family who has truly made the place their home:

Above the midnight blue laminate of the kitchenette hangs a yellow floral curtain, calling out the yellow of the turmeric in a jar. ... The dishes are washed. It seems heroic to me, every scavenged and scrubbed item, the toil to keep her family’s dignity in this wasteland. What stores of willpower it takes for this couple to commit to making these rooms a home. The very air in a camp is heavy, making you listless, pushing you into your bed. Their refusal to sit and wait is a daily resistance, a gift to their daughters. These childhood days at LM will not be marred by poverty and anticipation for them. LM Village will be just another chapter of their lives. They might have their next birthday here. They might learn to read here.

I have no idea how long we're all going to be in this limbo. But I think we'll all get through this better if we "refuse to sit and wait" for this to be over. In other words, let's make the most of this time that we have, living in the present instead of fretting over the future. Like refugees, we can hold on to the hope that one day, our lives will reclaim a sense of normalcy. And when that day comes, I don't want to look back at the time I spent in limbo and regret the way that I spent it.

Counting the Apples in a Seed

"You can count the seeds in an apple, but you cannot count the apples in a seed." This quote came up on my Facebook newsfeed a few weeks ago, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. I'm sure there are a lot of applications, but the one that sticks with me the most is the idea of influence.

You may think you're just one person—a single apple—with a short time on this earth, so what good could you possibly do in the world? However, the "seeds" you plant in others by your kindness and good deeds have a profound and lasting effect on others, a ripple effect that continues until the world is indeed changed in some way because of you.

This thought is definitely uplifting, but I also found something else there that was nagging at me. It was a call to action, specifically about how I use my time. I started thinking about the things I fill my day with, asking the question, "By doing this thing, am I just eating my own apple, or am I planting its seeds?" Am I just scrolling mindlessly through Facebook, or am I seeking to add or promote uplifting content through it? Am I watching hours of TV, which only benefits me, or am I doing something that will somehow benefit others?

Now, don't get me wrong—I'm all about self-care. If we just "go go go" helping everyone else without also taking time for ourselves, we'll get burnt out. But I've noticed that, at least for me, self-care can very quickly deteriorate into self-indulgence if I'm not careful. And I've also noticed how truly happy I am when I'm engaged in worthwhile (influential) activities, much more so than when I'm binging on Netflix or oversleeping. Maybe this is what Jesus Christ meant in Matthew 16:25—"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." The greatest joy and fulfillment we find is in "losing" our time in making the world a better place, not by "saving" all that time for ourselves.

Every one of us can metaphorically plant our apple seeds by filling our time with service to others, creative pursuits, and self-improvement. This will look different for every person because we all have different talents and opportunities. But know this—you do have something to offer the world, and the seeds you plant matter. Ultimately, the more seeds we plant, the more apples we can enjoy: not just our own, but also the fruits of our labors in the lives of countless others.

What I Learned From 125,000 Rounds of Chutes and Ladders

In church on Sunday, the teacher compared our lives to a game of Chutes and Ladders. Sometimes things go well, and we seem to be climbing all the ladders, but at other times, the chutes seem to always bring us back to square one.

I remembered that about a year ago, I was bored and decided to write a computer program simulating the game. I wanted to know how many turns it takes on average to win by reaching the 100th square.

After running the game simulation 125,000 times, the program calculated that it takes an average of 39 turns to win the game. But what about the minimum and the maximum number of turns? What if you were the luckiest player ever and rolled the perfect series of numbers? Or what if you were the unluckiest player and couldn't seem to reach the last square for the life of you? Well, here are the statistics:

• The minimum number of turns to win the game was 7.
• The maximum number of turns to win the game was ... 417. That's almost 60 times more than the minimum number!

So, I got to thinking about how this relates to life.

It might seem like some people have life pretty easy. They seem to have everything going for them—a strong support system, excellent physical and mental health, talents that make it easy to be successful, and so on. They get through the game of life in an easy 7 turns, so to speak.

Most people are probably in the realm of 39 turns, hitting both chutes and ladders throughout their lives.

And then there are the people who seem to always be swimming upstream, facing obstacle after obstacle. And even when they manage to significantly move forward at one point, those blasted chutes just keep bringing them down. Or they might roll only 1s and 2s, making progress annoyingly slow. Surely they climb ladders along the way, but it's hard to be happy about it when you know another chute is lingering right around the corner!

So, if you feel like you're in that final category, take heart in knowing this: the only way to lose the game is to stop playing. If you just keep persevering and rolling that die—time after time, turn after turn—eventually you will make it to the final square. Even if it takes you 417 turns.